Hello, and thank you for this wonderful site that offers high quality advice and guidance, my name is Natalia, i am 29 years old, married, and have a child, my problem is that my husband is extremely envious and jealous of me, he never wishes me well and does not rejoice in any achievements or promotions i receive at work, when i share my successes with him, he becomes sullen and sad, his expression changes, and he starts yelling and creating problems.
At the beginning of our marriage, i thought he was just selfish and narcissistic, but later i realized that the situation was worse. He is very envious of me and does not want me to progress in any area of my life, he only wants me to stay at home to prepare lunch and dinner and raise our children, he also gets upset if I buy new clothes or anything new.
Last month, i joined a gym and started exercising, which had a positive effect on my physical health, he quickly enrolled in the same gym, despite having previously refused to join, this was due to his intense jealousy of my new body, he mimics everything I do as if he were a woman, he also complains when he sees me eating in the kitchen, accuses me of eating too much and wasting food, all because of his envy, as he is very thin and has a poor appetite.
Moreover, he is very keen on reminding me of my household duties and making me feel like i am neglecting the house because of work, even though i put in a lot of effort into cleaning and cooking, sometimes, he even deliberately spills coffee on the floor for me to clean up again.
He also interrupts me when i speak in front of others and changes the subject when anyone asks about my work and career development, he gets extremely angry if anyone praises or compliments me and always tries to belittle me whenever he gets the chance.
I am really confused and do not know how to deal with my husband’s envy and jealousy, i want a solution to this problem without resorting to divorce because i do not want my child to grow up without his father, but at the same time, i cannot continue like this, please help me.
Answer to the question: My husband envies me and belittles me, what should i do?
First of all, we always welcome you to our site, and we hope you find what you're looking for, regarding your issue titled: my husband envies me and belittles me, what should i do? the answer is as follows:
It is important to recognize that jealousy in women is different from jealousy in men, women’s jealousy is often superficial, mainly involving competition with other women, in contrast, men may experience jealousy not only from more successful or handsome men but also from women who surpass them, especially if it is their wife, in many cases, a woman’s fame or success can lead to marital issues (my husband envies me and belittles me), as some husbands have difficulty accepting their wives achievementshe jealous husband may try to obstruct this success in various ways to be better than his wife, this envy is not limited to work but can extend to physical appearance or social skills, leading the jealous husband to isolate his wife and prevent her from interacting with others.
What you need to understand is that your husband's envy is due to his feelings of inadequacy and his perception that you are better than him, he feels others are comparing you favorably against him, which fuels his envy and insecurity, to reduce this envy and jealousy, you need to make him feel secure and that you are one entity, with no difference between you, as if you are one soul and body.
To help your husband overcome his envy, involve him in all the activities you engage in and make him your partner, for example, after you notice weight loss and improvement from your gym workouts, tell him: my dear husband, I did this for you, i lost this weight to please you and to look more beautiful in your eyes, this will shift his thinking from envy to seeing your new body as something he benefits from, making him happier and more supportive.
If you receive a promotion at work, tell him: my dear husband, I got promoted, and this is thanks to your support and encouragement, the money from the promotion will help us improve our situation and buy more things we need at home, this will gradually reduce his envy as you implement this strategy daily.
Compliment and appreciate him for his role as a husband and partner, for instance: thank you, my dear, for working hard for us, thank you for everything you do for us....
A man loves a woman who praises him and acknowledges his virtues, regarding his envy when you eat, you can eat outside the home and pretend to be full in front of him.
Explain that being thin is better for health, and that a thin man is attractive and has its advantages, do not despair just try and be patient, and with determination and persistence, your husband’s behavior will change.
Regarding him belittling you in front of others, set clear boundaries and never allow him to insult you in front of anyone, if he makes any demeaning comments, respond to him firmly and assertively, and he will be less likely to repeat such behavior.
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