Hello, I hope you are well and that you receive my message, my problem is that my husband constantly gets into fights with me and disputes over both minor and major issues, which causes me significant psychological stress, at the same time, he remains unaffected and nothing seems to bother him, he spends the entire day yelling, blaming, and complaining about everything.
For example, today he fought with me because my young daughter had an accident during the night, and he blamed me, accusing me of neglect because i didn't check on her condition during the night, the situation has truly become unbearable, and i am suffering from severe anxiety and stress.
His complaints are trivial, just like him. He argues with me over a milk spill on the floor from my baby's bottle and accuses me of neglecting the house, even though he doesn’t help with raising our children, he just fights with me all day long.
Despite my efforts to avoid conflicts and sometimes apologizing even when he is at fault, he continues to repeat the same behavior and tells me that i am not changing my ways, i have tried to change his behavior several times, but to no avail, the result is that i am breaking down every time he starts a fight, he literally does not want to stop fighting with me.
I want practical solutions to make him stop his daily petty arguments and let me live in peace with my children, thank you very much.
Response to the question: my husband always fights with me, i am fed up with life with him, what should I do?
Welcome to our site at any time, and do not hesitate to contact us if you face any issues in the future, regarding your problem titled: my husband always fights with me, i am fed up with life with him, what should I do? the answer is as follows:
Regarding your husband who constantly fights with you over trivial matters without considering the daily pressures you face due to household chores and raising children, and considering that he does not help you with household tasks but only complains and accuses you of negligence, it is likely that your husband has a narcissistic personality, individuals with this personality are characterized by selfishness, self admiration, and a lack of empathy for others, they are unable to feel their partner's pain, which seems to apply to your husband who keeps fighting with you.
In this case, it is difficult to deal with your husband because he is insensitive and hard to influence, the evidence is that he remains unaffected after fights, while you are the one who breaks down.
Thus, the only solution with a narcissistic husband who constantly fights with you, aside from separation, is to become like him, meaning you should become self centered and focus only on your own and your children’s well being, from this moment, you will start changing your approach to try to change your husband's behavior, but rather you will be changing yourself.
You will learn to stay calm, yes, maintaining calm is the solution that will save you from your constantly fighting husband, when he starts a discussion, immediately change the subject or go to another room and ignore the nonsense he is saying, your husband, who does not stop fighting with you, will be stunned, previously, your listening to him was encouraging him to argue more, ignoring him will send a message that he is insignificant and that no one is willing to listen to his trivial complaints.
When he starts making criticisms, like saying: why is the floor dirty? or who put this thing here?, interrupt him immediately and prevent him from continuing by talking to one of your children and laughing loudly, continuing with this strategy will signal to your husband, who does not stop fighting with you, that his criticisms are unimportant and just empty chatter with no value.
Another way to deal with a husband who constantly fights with you is to complain all the time and blame him for everything, complain about the house he bought, for example, by saying: Oh, this house is awful, and its location is bad, there are no shops or parks nearby, it was foolish to buy a house in such a location, these words will shake your husband's confidence and make him think twice before making any comments about you.
Turn the tables on him when he criticizes you, this method is one of the most effective ways to deal with a husband who constantly fights with you, for instance, if he says: your soup tastes awful today, respond with: yes, that's because of the poor quality chicken you brought, this method will break your husband's pride and arrogance, making him realize the situation, with repeated use, you will notice that he will stop criticizing and accept the situation you both are in.
Your constantly fighting husband will also stop initiating arguments after he becomes bored with your ignoring him and not valuing what he does, this method is 100% effective, so do not hesitate to apply it.
Finally, if you do not see a change in your husband's behavior and he refuses to stop creating conflicts, separation is the best solution for you, do not waste your life with someone who causes you anxiety and stress every day, leading to psychological and physical health issues, take good care of yourself for your children, and always think about how they would live without you if something happened, take care of yourself for their sake so you can always be there for them.
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