Sadly, I've encountered some problems with my fiancée's father, she is the eldest among her three sisters and two brothers, and it seems like he has a type of jealousy, for example, when my fiancée gifts me something like clothes or perfume, he gets angry and scolds her, asking why she didn't buy something for him as well! He also criticizes her for spending her money on things he considers useless instead of saving it for future needs.
He has started to get upset with her over small things and constantly repeats that she doesn't treat him the way she used to, often, when I visit them, he greets me outside and doesn’t invite me in, which I suspect is his way of keeping me from getting close to the rest of the family.
When I’m alone with my fiancée, his facial expression changes, and after I leave, he scolds her, saying things like, Why do you meet every day? Don’t you get bored of each other? Don’t you have anything more important to do?”
When i ask her to come with me to my family’s house, he usually doesn’t object, but he keeps calling her from the moment she enters until she leaves.
Recently, I've noticed that he seems to be deliberately ignoring me, greeting me without making eye contact, even worse, he has started convincing his daughter that her life with me will be full of hardships and trying to subtly push her away from me, i don’t understand the reason behind this harsh treatment, sometimes I feel like he sees me as socially inferior or thinks I'm incapable of marriage and taking on the responsibilities of a family, all due to his intense and unjustified jealousy over his daughter.
Despite these challenges and obstacles that my fiancée’s father has put in my way, my relationship with her is still very strong. However, I’m beginning to worry that her father’s jealousy might affect our future married life, especially since my fiancée loves her father very much and might do anything for him. Please help me how should I deal with this situation?
Answer the question: My wife’s father is jealous of me, what should I do?
First and foremost, we warmly welcome you to our website "Marry Me" and thank you for sharing your concern with us, you are always welcome to reach out to us with any question or concern, no matter its nature, and we will do our best to respond as promptly as possible.
Regarding the issue you've described, we first want to commend you for seeking solutions to the problem of your fiancée's father's jealousy and for your efforts to improve your relationship with her family. We want to reassure you that this type of jealousy is natural and can be resolved over time, your fiancée's father likely views you as someone who is taking his daughter away, absorbing all her attention, thoughts, and affection, leaving nothing for him, this is a common perspective among older individuals who may struggle to understand the dynamics of such situations, his actions, in his mind, are his way of protecting his daughter.
To address this issue, it is crucial that you create a sense of reassurance and comfort in his heart, showing him that your fiancée will remain as she was before marriage and that her feelings and behavior toward her father will not change, if he feels he has gained a new son rather than losing a daughter, his jealousy will naturally diminish, and he will become more at ease with you, he will no longer bother you with the jealousy attacks that have troubled you in the past.
When entering the home, make sure to first ask about your future father in law and greet him warmly, with kind words and compliments, the same applies to her mother, this approach can help alleviate any feelings they might have that you have taken their daughter without giving them something in return.
Additionally, it is advisable for your fiancée to avoid displaying certain behaviors toward you in front of her parents, especially if there is no need to do so, for example, if she wants to give you a gift, it would be better to do so out of sight of her father, this approach can help prevent triggering his feelings of jealousy.
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