How to make your future mother in law like you during the engagement

Good evening, I’m Carla, 29 years old, and I’ve been engaged for three months to the love of my life, with whom I’ve been in a relationship for four years, our love finally culminated in an engagement, and now my fiancé is preparing our home.

My fiancé is the eldest son in his family, and his mother is very attached to him, and he is also close to her, so i thought of the idea of making myself loved by my future mother in law, and i decided to start now, i began by sending her a set of gifts on her birthday, and once i sent her a gift on Valentine’s Day, considering that love is not just for couples but also for family members, mothers, siblings, and anyone who holds a special place in your heart, i always call her to check on her, and i even offered to help her with household chores since she does everything alone, however, I haven’t found that my future mother in law treats me the same way, she rarely calls me and never remembers me with a gift, no matter the occasion.

I think she wants to keep our relationship superficial, so far i haven’t understood how she thinks, i need your help with tips and ideas on how to make her like me and accept me into her family, thank you.

Answer to the question: how to make your future mother in law like you during the engagement

First of all, we welcome you to our website "marry me" and we thank you for your courage and honesty in sharing your issue and seeking help to solve it, now, to answer your question:

It’s clear that you are putting in a great deal of effort to build a good relationship with your future mother in law, which reflects your good upbringing and sincere intention to be a beloved member of your future husband’s family, however, sometimes it can be difficult to understand how others think, especially when it comes to sensitive family relationships, therefore, it’s essential not to rush or be impulsive, as this may have negative consequences for you later, here are some tips that might help:

Keep a Safe Distance

If you notice that your mother in law is insisting on keeping a distance, it may be best not to push too hard to strengthen the relationship too quickly, she may perceive you as childish or trying to pry information from her, so it’s better to leave some space between you two.

Reassure Her About Her Son

Your mother in law’s behavior may stem from fear that you’ll take her son away from her, try to make her feel secure that you won’t do that, and that her son will always remain close to her.

Don’t Rush to Build the Relationship

Deep and genuine relationships take time to develop, your fiancé’s mother may need time to get used to your presence in her son’s life, especially if they have a close bond, over time, she will get used to your presence, and once she realizes your good intentions, she will certainly create a special place for you.

Don’t Take Things Personally

Don’t interpret your mother in law’s actions as personal dislike, it’s possible that her behavior is driven by fears that her son will drift away from her and love her less, these are natural emotions that any mother experiences when her son is about to get married.

Appreciate Her Emotions Towards Her Son

Your future mother in law may be feeling jealousy or fear of losing her position in her son’s life, try to show her that you’re not competing with her but rather that you will support your husband in being respectful and kind to his mother, also, assure her that you respect her relationship with her son and will not interfere with it.

Avoid Sensitive Topics

If there are certain topics that you feel may cause tension between you, try to avoid them and focus on positive topics that can enhance your relationship.

Show Interest in Other Family Members

Your mother in law may feel that you are focusing solely on her and her son, it’s good to show interest in the rest of the family, such as asking about your fiancé’s siblings and checking in on them, this can create a positive impression with the whole family.

In conclusion, building a good relationship with your future mother in law or even your husband’s family is not easy, it requires patience, wisdom, and a deep understanding of the family’s dynamics and values, the important thing is that you are genuine in your emotions and actions from the start, it’s not necessary for the relationship to be perfect and deeply connected, the main goal is to have a cordial relationship that is built on mutual respect.