During the engagement period, both men and women seek to understand each other deeply, emotions and feelings of love often dominate this phase, but focusing solely on emotions while neglecting fundamental issues can lead to shocks and consequences later in married life, especially after the initial charm fades and feelings of love and admiration diminish.
This is why discussing essential issues during this period is crucial, as it helps establish a clear foundation for the relationship and prevents future conflicts, agreeing on these topics early on gives each partner the opportunity to end the relationship if necessary before making a formal commitment that’s harder to undo.
For this purpose, we present to you a list of key topics that family experts recommend couples discuss during their engagement period.
Having Children
Discussing children is an essential topic for couples, it’s important to understand how many children each person wants and when they feel ready to start a family, couples should also agree on whether either partner wishes to delay having children for a period after marriage and decide on an acceptable waiting time that balances their desires and future circumstances.
Financial Aspects
Financial matters are some of the most important topics for couples to discuss openly, this includes understanding details like each partner’s monthly income and deciding how expenses will be divided and prioritized, knowing each partner’s financial habits can also help set a realistic understanding of their lifestyle and whether expenses will be a joint responsibility, to prevent future conflicts and accusations of stinginess or neglect.
Family Obligations
Since marriage brings each person into the other’s family, it's necessary to agree on the boundaries for interactions with both families, this includes organizing family visits and communication in a way that respects both partners’ comfort, especially for the wife.
Privacy
Couples should discuss what privacy means to each of them and to what extent they want to share their private life details with family or friends, understanding these boundaries helps build mutual trust and facilitates a smoother married life.
Saving Money
Discussing saving and determining its extent and impact on daily life is essential, as saving may require sacrificing some luxuries to achieve future goals, it’s beneficial to agree on how savings will be used whether for financial security, investments, or shared goals like traveling, buying a home, or purchasing a car.
Career Path
Discussing work plans and career aspirations is crucial, including each partner's goals and the potential impact of work on family stability, it’s important to understand job requirements, such as night shifts, frequent travel, or other obligations that might affect the relationship.
Handling Conflicts and Anger
Agreeing on how to handle challenges and disagreements is fundamental. Couples should decide if each needs personal space to think when issues arise, or if they prefer addressing problems immediately, additionally, they should discuss whether seeking marital counseling is an option to resolve conflicts if needed.
Personal Space
It’s essential for couples to talk about their need for freedom and personal space, in the early stages, partners may feel a need to spend all their time together, but over time, the need for individual time or time with friends becomes evident, this contributes to maintaining a healthy balance in married life.
Physical Health
Discussing physical health issues openly is important, as hiding any physical or mental health problems before marriage can lead to unfortunate consequences like separation, talking about these issues early allows both partners to decide if they want to continue the relationship or end it.
Avoiding discussions about the past
It is recommended to avoid delving into previous romantic experiences, as such memories could negatively impact the relationship, this includes refraining from sharing past mistakes and personal setbacks, as it is better to focus on the present and future rather than the past.
Future goals and ambitions
Couples should share their future goals and ambitions, both personal and professional, this involves discussing whether they have shared goals or if each has individual aspirations, agreeing on how they will support each other’s dreams without conflicting with mutual goals is essential.
Values and principles
It’s important for couples to discuss the core values and principles each believes in, whether ethical, professional, or social, this conversation helps them understand their compatibility and establishes a relationship based on mutual respect for each other’s views, preventing future conflicts.
Planning for the future and marriage vision
Couples should use the engagement period to discuss their vision for the future, long term plans, hopes, and expectations for their married life, this period provides an opportunity to express thoughts and feelings openly, helping build a strong foundation for the relationship before formal commitment.
Although some differences may arise, honest and effective communication can help couples overcome challenges and build a happy and stable relationship.
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