My husband is moody and never stops complaining, how do i deal with him?

A problem from one of our followers: my husband is moody and never stop complaining, what should i do?

good evening, marry me website,  want to thank you for this amazing platform that offers valuable advice and consultations to its followers, i am writing to you today to seek guidance and assistance with my serious issue, i am a married woman and a mother of three children, my problem is that my husband is extremely moody, he comments on everything in the house, criticizes me over the smallest details, and blames me for everything that happens.  

for example, our one and a half year old son broke his toy, and instead of understanding that this is normal behavior for a child, my husband immediately ran to me, criticizing and blaming me for not watching him properly or raising him well, he even blames me when household items break down as if I am responsible for the wear and tear of everyday appliances!  

additionally, he complains incessantly throughout the day about the high cost of living and household expenses, even though we both work and earn a decent income, he always finds reasons to complain and grumble.  

i am now at a loss, and my life has become unbearable. even at work, i can still hear his nagging and complaints echoing in my mind, his negativity is also affecting our children, as he constantly yells at them and makes their lives stressful.  

i can’t deny that he is a loving father who tries his best to provide for them, but his constant negativity has started to take a toll on our family, andi fear it will affect our children’s personalities in the long run.  

Answer to: my husband is moody and never stops complaining, how do i deal with him?

dear sister, we are happy to have you reach out to us for help with your marital issues, rest assured that your efforts to find solutions and improve your marriage will be rewarded, and with time, your home, husband, and children will benefit from it, now, regarding your concerns, here are some effective strategies to help you deal with your moody husband and transform his personality into one that is more positive and uplifting.  

First, you need to be patient and strong when dealing with this challenge, try to see his complaints as humorous remarks rather than personal attacks, you know deep down that most of what he says has no real meaning, so why let it bother you?  

Second, avoid provoking your husband or doing things that trigger his negativity, if he is obsessed with turning off lights to save electricity, make sure to switch them off before he gets home, if he likes a clean and organized house, try to maintain it as much as possible without overexerting yourself.  

Encourage your husband to join a gym or engage in sports, physical activity helps release excess energy and stress, making him return home in a better mood and less likely to complain.  

make relaxing herbal teas a part of your daily routine, drinks like chamomile, mint, and anise help reduce stress and promote relaxation, understand that his complaints and nagging often stem from inner anxiety and frustration, which he expresses through negativity.  

gently remind him that his behavior is affecting the children negatively, let him know that constant criticism can weaken their confidence and make them shy or socially withdrawn, his fatherly love will likely make him reconsider his actions.  

if his attitude does not improve, consider distancing yourself temporarily, a short break may help him reflect on his behavior and realize the impact of his negativity.  

The alternative plan

if the previous strategies don’t work, try the alternative plan treating him the same way he treats you for a short period, this will help him understand what it feels like to live with constant complaints.  

1. When he comes home, before he even changes his clothes, start nagging: why did you walk in with your shoes on? why didn’t you take them off outside?
2. Start complaining yourself: i’m exhausted, no one appreciates me in this house, and everyone only thinks about themselves.
3. Compare him to other men, mentioning how they treat their wives well, shower them with gifts, and make them happy. this will make him reflect on his behavior and want to improve.
4. Beat him to the blame game, if something breaks, don’t wait for him to criticize you, blame him first, say, where were you when your son broke his toy? why didn’t you watch him? also, complain about the household budget and how he isn't providing enough.
5. By doing this, he will subconsciously start changing his behavior and become less negative over time. without realizing it, he will try to avoid criticism and complaints from you, which will naturally lead to a more positive atmosphere in your home.

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