Many women struggle with problems in their married lives, some complain about a jealous husband, others about a stubborn or angry partner who shouts and picks fights for no reason, there are those who suffer from a weak man controlled by his mother, an unfaithful womanizer, a narcissist, or a reckless spender.
Another common complaint is: my husband is stingy and doesn’t take responsibility how do i deal with him? this type of man is among the hardest to live with, he avoids spending money on the household, focuses only on saving and hoarding it, and refuses to part with a single coin, his wife and children find it incredibly hard to adapt to his miserly behavior.
Before we explore ways to deal with a stingy husband, let’s first go over the traits of a stingy man, so you can identify whether these match your own husband.
traits of a stingy husband
- Rarely takes you out for dinner or lunch, he’ll claim he only likes home cooked meals just to cut down on expenses.
- Has no hobbies because he believes they cost money.
- Overprotects his belongings, fearing they’ll get damaged he doesn’t want to replace them.
- Refuses to buy new furniture or clothes, if you mention wanting something new, he’ll insist the old ones are still fine.
- Turns every conversation into a money talk, even when you talk about a friend, he’ll point out how she mishandles money.
- After some time living with him, you may feel uncomfortable even borrowing money from him even in emergencies.
- Takes you to the cheapest restaurants and cafés, gets visibly anxious when you hold the menu, and may even ask you to pay.
- Squeezes the toothpaste tube to the last drop, then cuts it open to be sure nothing’s left.
- Pretends to forget birthdays or anniversaries to avoid buying gifts,
- constantly turns off lights and heating, even in winter, to save on bills.
- wears old, worn out clothes, avoids perfumes or hygiene products to save money.
- he won’t say romantic things to you not even a simple i love you.
Reasons behind a husband’s stinginess:
- Inherited behavior: he may have grown up in a household where money was scarce, and saving was prioritized over spending.
- Fear of the future: some men save excessively out of fear of illness, disability, or unforeseen emergencies.
- Temporary financial stress: he may currently be in debt or experiencing a financial crisis, which leads to short term stinginess.
- Control: he may use money as a way to control his wife and keep her dependent on him.
- Deep love for money: some men are simply raised to idolize saving over everything else.
- Revenge or resentment: after a fight, he might punish you and your kids financially.
- Narcissism or selfishness: he thinks only about himself and his needs.
- Lack of trust in the future of your relationship, especially if there are many conflicts.
- Outside influence: family or friends may be encouraging him to avoid spending, under the guise of saving for the future.
How to deal with a stingy, irresponsible husband
- Have a calm, private conversation, express how his stinginess affects your emotional connection and family balance.
- Remind him gently, or through third parties, that it's his duty to support his family.
- Suggest agreeing on a fixed monthly budget he gives you, so you manage household expenses without constantly asking.
- Introduce him to generous relatives who financially support their families with ease.
- Send him videos or clips of scholars emphasizing the importance of spending on one's wife and children.
- Prepare intentionally bland meals to encourage him to buy better ingredients.
- Talk about health problems or vitamin deficiencies in yourself or your kids to highlight the impact of poor nutrition due to his tight spending.
- Praise and compliment him when he does show generosity men love admiration, and this can motivate change.
- Find a job so you're not financially dependent, in today’s world, a woman’s income can be essential.
- Never give up, keep the conversation going, gently but persistently, until you see progress.
We understand how hard it is to live with a stingy man, it can be exhausting, but the key to dealing with a stingy, irresponsible husband is patience, if you work, don’t hesitate to spend on yourself, most men who marry working women expect them to manage their own needs.
However, that doesn’t mean a man should neglect his wife financially even if she has her own income, a thoughtful gift every now and then can make her feel valued and loved.
Lastly, for unmarried women still looking for a partner, take your time, don’t rush into marriage without getting to know his habits and values well especially how he handles money, it could save you a lot of heartac.
Other topics:
- My husband is moody and never stops complaining, how do i deal with him?
- My husband cheats on me over the phone should i confront him or ignore the infidelity
- My husband is narcissistic is there a solution other than divorce? I'm tired of living with him.
- My Struggle with a Stingy Husband: Fearing He's Not a Provider
- How should a wife handle a husband who is too stingy?